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Gata: this one is for you

Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Admonitions To A Special Person

Watch out for power,
for its avalanche can bury you,
snow, snow, snow, smothering your mountain.


Watch out for hate,
it can open its mouth and you'll fling yourself out
to eat off your leg, an instant leper.

Watch out for friends,
because when you betray them,
as you will,
they will bury their heads in the toilet
and flush themselves away.

Watch out for intellect,
because it knows so much it knows nothing
and leaves you hanging upside down,
mouthing knowledge as your heart
falls out of your mouth.

Watch out for games, the actor's part,
the speech planned, known, given,
for they will give you away
and you will stand like a naked little boy,
pissing on your own child-bed.

Watch out for love
(unless it is true,
and every part of you says yes including the toes),
it will wrap you up like a mummy,
and your scream won't be heard
and none of your running will end.

Love? Be it man. Be it woman.
It must be a wave you want to glide in on,
give your body to it, give your laugh to it,
give, when the gravelly sand takes you,
your tears to the land. To love another is something
like prayer and can't be planned, you just fall
into its arms because your belief undoes your disbelief.

Special person,
if I were you I'd pay no attention
to admonitions from me,
made somewhat out of your words
and somewhat out of mine.
A collaboration.
I do not believe a word I have said,
except some, except I think of you like a young tree
with pasted-on leaves and know you'll root
and the real green thing will come.

Let go. Let go.
Oh special person,
possible leaves,
this typewriter likes you on the way to them,
but wants to break crystal glasses
in celebration,
for you,
when the dark crust is thrown off
and you float all around
like a happened balloon.

(Anne Sexton)

the other half

Monday, March 27, 2006
I spend so much time complaining about my life and what i'd like to do and never seem to get round to (to myself, I try not to bother other people with my crap) that I sometimes forget that many people have difficult lives. Yesterday I had one those "jeez" moments.

I was on the underground platform at 08:42 on a Sunday morning, along with hundreds of other people in shorts - freezing their arses off - about to go to a race. It dawned on me that I would only be there because of a race or if I had been up all night partying. Then I noticed loads of other people in normal clothes. Awake. On a Sunday before 9 o'clock in the morning. Going places. Jeez.

jitters

Friday, March 24, 2006
falta apenas três semanas para a Maratona.

waiting

Friday, March 17, 2006
poucas coisas são mais irritantes do que chegar a esta hora (22:00 de uma Sexta-feira), cansado e irritadiço, e não poder ir para a casa. Estou à espera que me enviem uma cena que tenho de rever e devolver hoje. Poderia ir para casa e fazer mais tarde ou amanhã. Mas ia perder a sensação de fds: acabou e não vou pensar mais nesta treta até Segunda (a semana vai difícil por isso neste caso é só até Domingo à noite).

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr